Why? Why am I here and writing all of this, and who am I?
I’m here because I’ve been through a lot in my 40 years, and I’m writing here because I want to help people. I have made most of the mistakes that life has to offer and I’m hoping that my journey can help others who might have gone through some of the same things.
This blog is also to help me end the pain. It’s to have my voice be heard. It’s to cleanse myself of all the bad shit.
So who am I?I live in Cornwall, and I'm currently a disabled student of Art - very part time and very much around my often pretty dire energy levels (Chronic pain and menopause crap all ended up with CFS).
I used to work in the City of London, deep in the depths of the finance world. I don’t anymore - figuring out a new career is next on my list of things to do.
I have the BRCA2 genetic mutation - it doesn’t give me any superpowers like the X-Men unfortunately. It just gives me a higher risk of breast and ovarian cancer. I had the ladies off a couple of years ago and I have the greatest perkiest tits ever. But also I have chronic pain. The recovery from the operation has been a long one.
Over the course of my life I’ve suffered a wide range of emotional and sexual abuse and assault and I have the deepest sympathies with anyone going through similar. I’m also a reformed alcoholic/drug abuser.
You can always always reach out to me if you just want to connect with someone who might understand a little of your journey. And there are fab resources out there that can help you too. I have an amazing therapist who has really helped me on my journey so far.
If you need to contact someone about any of the issues I raise then please reach out to the Samaritans or Rape Crisis. The Samaritans are there to talk to if you just need an ear - not just if you are suicidal. Although they’re great if you need them at that point in your life too.
One thing that helped me when I’ve been feeling right at the end of everything is that often suicidal feelings aren’t there because you want to end your life but because you want to end the pain.
Enjoy reading, I’ve been told my life is like a soap opera or a crazy novel 😆 - I'll let you decide what you think of it...